*Not from Concentrate
Justin: everything is ok, i’m listening to leonard nimoy talk about bigfoot
Boonis; because “Bonus” isn’t fancy enough for Reed.
Superman has taught us that when your purple explodes you spontaneously combust.
Bacon deficiency is a real and terrible thing.
Ribs are really just meat-on-the-cob.
Things you shouldn’t have to tell your kid. (Overheard at Jack Astor’s)
“Don’t poke me in the eye with that.”
Mike while playing Borderlands 2: Beer goggles do not work on Ellie.
If doing something poorly is referred to as half-assed, is doing it well whole-assed, or no-assed?
Who uses chains decoratively? You’re like the Martha Stewart from Hell!
Trish: that’s almost two kumquats!
also, limes and lemons are almost identical in size
class datetime.timedelta([days[, seconds[, microseconds[, milliseconds[, minutes[, hours[, weeks]]]]]]])
Go home Python, you’re drunk.
Trish (reading): “Give your boobs some room.” Yeah, done that.
Reed: We have to build a whole room for your boobs? Isn’t that something the ancient Romans did? The Boobitorium?
Mike: Phones need more squid
“Ich hasse Konzept-Handys”
Commercial on Pandora reminds me to play mind-games on Lumosity.com. Lumosity scores indicate that I have difficult focusing… a fact I could derive from the fact that I neglected my work for 10 minutes due to a commercial
Trish: 60040215006 is listed in the email as nurgle, but is actually slaanesh, and the code for slaanesh belongs to nurgle. then they have 60040115007 as both nurgle and slaanesh. pretty sure two products don’t share one code.
Mike: at least they’re not Tzeentch and Khorne…. those guys hate each other. They’d NEVER share a code!
Trish (pregnancy craving): I want freaking Chinese food again. Stupid body.
Reed: Are you sure it’s your stupid body and not just that you’re a Chinese Food addict?
My mechanical pencil lied to me.
Titanic 2, inwhich Asylum films both Day-For-Night and Pool-For-Ocean at the same time.
Crazy bitch is recursive!
Apparently exploding random people isn’t the solution to crazy.
If you’re wondering why my house smells like candles, it’s because wax paper isn’t a suitable replacement for parchment paper in the oven, and shut up.
Mike: So I ordered a Zinger, she’s like “that’ll take 10 minutes, want a spicy big crunch instead?” “Sure” “That’ll take 6 minutes, want a classic sandwich instead?” …
Mike: ”My biggest pet peave is a lack of grammer and/or spelling skills” … are you trying to be ironic? (browsing a dating site profile).
The Justin is the SI Unit for measuring Godzilla Fandom. If you’re asked “Which was your favourite Godzilla movie?” and you respond “the one with Matthew Broderick”, you rate zero Justins.